diy tattoo clip cord | So your a Dad How to be a good one!

diy tattoo clip cord

So know your a dad, getting there was relatively easy. But being a good dad, is incredibly difficult and takes work. That is the one thing that new parents do not always realize the time, effort and willpower that it takes. But even more important a new parent, particularly a father need to be in their childs life well beyond the baby and toddler stage into the pre-teen years.

So here are a few tips that fathers can follow that will make them truly great dads.

Part one making the time

Make time for your kids. Your children dont care if youve just had a big promotion at your company or whether or not you own the most expensive house on the block. What they do care abou

t is whether or not youll be home time for dinner, if youll take them to the baseball game, and if youll be around for movie or game night that week. If you want to be a good father, then you have to set aside time every day for your children -- or at least every week -- no matter how busy you are.

• Plug this time into your schedule. Maybe your best nights for your children are Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Take the time to put in extra care during those days, and dont let other commitments get in the way.
• If you have more than one child, then you should make time to see each child individually, so your unique relationships can develop.
• If youre so tired that you cant possibly make yourself get up to basketball with your son, do something else with him instead, like watching a basketball game or a basketball-themed movie. Its important that youre there in some capacity.

Be there for the milestones. Though planning "daddy time" for your kids each week is a great way to strengthen your relationship, you should also try to be there for important milestones in their lives. Arrange your work schedule so that you can be there for your sons first day of school, your daughters first ballet recital, or your son or daughters high school graduation.

• Your children will remember these moments for the rest of their lives, and having you be there will mean a lot.
• You may be very busy when one of your kids is about to hit a milestone, but if you miss out, youll regret it later on.

Teach your children the important lessons. You should also be present to teach your children how to complete the basics of life. You can help your son use the bathroom, teach your children to brush their teeth properly, help them learn how to ride a bike, and teach them to drive when the time comes. These rights of passage are incredibly important, for some these will help define your childs risk and protective factors.  You can also teach your sons how to shave and maintain good hygiene. Your kids will need you to learn the big life lessons as well as the small everyday tasks.

• Split these lessons with your wife or significant other. You should both teach your children the important things they need to know to grow up.
• Help your children learn from their mistakes. If theyve done something wrong, you should help them see why and talk about how to avoid the behavior in the future instead of simply punishing them and moving on.

Develop strong communication. Being present for the important moments in your childrens lives is very important, and so is being able to communicate with your children when youre there. You dont always have to do something exciting with your kids for them to enjoy hanging out with you -- you just have to focus on being able to communicate with them, to understand their concerns and struggles.

• Make sure to check in with your kids every day, so that you know what their worried about, what they have coming in that week, and whats on their minds.
• Dont just superficially ask, "How was your day?" without really wanting to know the answer.
• If your children are teenagers or busy college students, then they may not want to discuss the details of their days with you. Just make sure to check in often enough that they know you care without feeling smothered.

Plan trips with your kids. To be a good father, you should take the time to go trips with your kids -- with or without their mother. You can take a yearly fishing trip with your boys, a trip to the beach with your daughter, or even a camping trip that your kids will never forget. Whatever you do, try to make it special, memorable, and something that can be repeated at least once a year so that youve developed a fun daddy-centric routine.

• If the childrens mother is present during the trips, take some time to bond solo with your kids when you can.
• Planning these trips a few months in advance will give your kids something fun and different to look forward to.

Make time for yourself. Though its important to be there for your kids, you should try to get some "me time" when you can, whether its spending Sunday afternoon doing your own thing, or taking half an hour to run every morning or winding down with a good book every night before bed. You should put your kids interests before your own most of the time, but dont completely neglect yourself, either.

• If you dont make time for yourself, you wont be able to relax, recharge your batteries, and give your kids the time and attention they deserve.
• You can have a special room or chair in the house where your kids know that you should not be disturbed. Help them get used to the idea of "me time" and explain that youre going to be doing your own thing for a little while -- unless they really need you.

Balance the Carrot and the Stick

Reward your children appropriately. Being a disciplinarian isnt all about punishing your children when theyve made a mistake. Its also about rewarding them when theyve done something good so that theyre encouraged and want to repeat the behavior. Whether theyve gotten straight As, helped a younger sibling with a tough task, or were mature enough to walk away from a fight, you should let them know how proud you are of them, take them out to their favorite restaurant, or just do whatever you can to let them know how much you appreciate their good behavior.

• When your children are younger, rewarding them with affection can go a long way in helping them see how proud you are.
• Though giving your children a treat or a new toy when theyve behaved well occasionally can reinforce good behavior, you shouldnt have toys or treats as the only incentive your children have for acting well. They should be motivated because youve taught them to separate right from wrong.
• Dont reward your children for something that is expected of them, like doing chores around the house or cleaning up after themselves. If you do, then theyll feel like theyre doing you a favor.

Punish your children appropriately. To be a fair disciplinarian, youll have to punish your children when theyve made a mistake. This doesnt mean getting physical or psychologically cruel -- it just means letting your kids know when theyve made a mistake and showing that there are consequences for their actions. Once your child is old enough to reason, he should know when hes made a mistake.

• Make sure that you and your wife agree on the punishment for the children. The consequences should be the same, whether Mommy or Daddy witnessed the action. This will help you avoid going into "good cop, bad cop" mode.

Be consistent. Being consistent is just as important as having a system of punishments and rewards. If your child is misbehaving, the consequences should be the same every time, even if its inconvenient or youre tired or out in public. And if your child does something great, dont forget to make him feel special, no matter how tired or stressed out you are.

• If you dont act consistent, then your children will know that your reactions can be influenced by your moods.

Dont yell. Though you may feel enraged by your childrens behavior, yelling is not the solution. If you have to yell, try yelling when youre alone, in the shower, or into a pillow. But dont yell at your children, no matter how bad the urge is. You can raise your voice slightly to let them know theyve made a mistake, but if you yell or scream, theyll be afraid of you and wont want to communicate.

• Though it may be tough, you shouldnt let your children see you lose control.

Dont get violent. No matter how angry you are, you should avoid hitting, hurting, or grabbing your children. This will hurt them physically and emotionally and will make them want to avoid you at all costs. If your children think that you may get violent, they will shut down and wont want to be around you. You should avoid being violent around your children, or around their mother, if you want to gain their respect.

Be feared and loved. Its important that your children know that youre a strict disciplinarian and that they cant pull a fast one on you, but its equally important that they want your love and affection and have an amazing time bonding with you. To be a good father, you need to toe the line between enforcing tough lessons and also making your children feel loved and appreciated.

• If youre too concerned about being feared, then your children may not feel comfortable enough to open up to you.
• If youre too concerned about being loved, then your children may see you as a pushover who wont lay down the law.

Being a Good Role Model

Lead by example. If you want to lead by your example, then your motto should be, "Do as I say and as I do," so your children know youre not being hypocritical when you teach them right from wrong. If you want your children to act in a way that meets your expectations, then they should see the positive behavior from you first. Here are some ways that you can lead by example:

• If you dont want your children to smoke or drink excessively, for example, then you shouldnt do these things in front of them -- or at all.
• If you want your children to treat people with kindness and respect, then they have to see you treating people, from the waiter in your local restaurant to a telemarketer, with basic respect.
• If you want your children to not pick fights, then dont pick a fight with their mother right in front of them.

Treat the childrens mother with respect. If you want to be a good role model, then you have to treat the childrens mother with respect. If youre married to her, then you should let them see how much your love her, help her out, and enjoy her company. If youre mean to your own wife, then your children will see that its okay to be mean to Mom or other people because Dad does it.

• Part of treating the childrens mother with respect means sharing childcare and household duties with her.
• Let your children see you praising their mother and giving her the love and affection that she deserves.
• You should not only treat the childrens mother with respect, but love her and work on maintaining an loving, fun, and nurturing relationship. If the childrens mother is happy, then everyone is happy.
• If you and the childrens mother are divorced, then you should never say a bad word about their mother to them, even if youre not on the best terms. Letting them see your less-than-ideal relationship with their mother will make them stressed and confused.

Admit your mistakes. You dont have to be perfect to be a good role model. In fact, its better if youre not perfect, because then your children will see that nobodys perfect and that everybody makes mistakes. If youve made a mistake, like forgetting to pick your child up from school at the right time, or losing your temper, you should apologize and say that you know youve made a mistake.

• If you can swallow your pride in front of your children, then theyll see that its okay for them to admit when theyve done something wrong, too.
• Admitting when youre wrong builds more character than "doing the right thing" every single time.

Help out around the house. If you want your children to help out around the house, then you should help out around the house, too, no matter how all-consuming your job may be. Let them see you doing the dishes, cleaning the counters, and vacuuming the carpet, and theyll want to help out too. If they think that cleaning up is just "Moms job," then theyll be much less likely to help out when the time comes.

• Helping out around the house will not only make your wife happy, but itll help your children see that you and your wife work as a team and that they should join in.

Earn your childrens respect. Respect is earned, not given, and you should do what you can so that your children respect you as a father. If youre not around a lot, yell at their mother, or are only occasionally in the mood to discipline them, then they wont respect you just because youre their father. You should act in a way that is admirable, honest, and consistent so that your children see that youre a model father and a person worthy of their admiration.

• Your children shouldnt worship you and think youre perfect -- they should see that youre only human and want to do well by them.

Shower your children with love and affection. Though you may think being a good role model means being slightly distant but always doing the right thing, it actually means being connected enough to give your children kisses and hugs, and to let them know how much they mean to you. Dont let a day go by without saying "I love you," giving your children physical affection, and letting them know how much they mean to you.

• Your children long for love and affection from you, no matter what age they are.
• Praise your children and let them know that your life wouldnt be the same without them.

Accept that your children arent you. Though you may have wanted your children to keep running the family business, attend your alma mater, or be a high school soccer star like you were, you have to accept the fact that your children are their own people with their own needs and desires, and that they may not align with yours. You may think that your path is the only way to happiness, but to be a good father, you have to accept that your children may have a different idea of how to run their lives.

• Though you may think that youre doing your best by telling your children what to do or how to live their lives, youre actually hurting their independence by trying to control them.
• It takes time to accept your childrens desires. If you dont immediately understand why your son wants to be an artist when you are a doctor, ask for him to explain it to you and take the time to listen and understand.
• If you try to control your children too much, theyll resent you and will stop opening up.
• Let your children make their own decisions by letting them be independent and open-minded. You may want them to play baseball, but sign them up for a variety of activities and let them decide what they like best.

Be aware of the changing times. To be a good father, you have to understand that your children arent growing up in the same environment that you were raised in -- even if youre raising them in the same time. With globalization, the influence of social media, and the changing politics in todays society, its likely that your children are less sheltered than you are and are more aware of the problems and changes in todays society.

• Therefore, be aware that things like body piercing, premarital sex, and world travel are more common today than they were in your time. Accept that your children are a product of the times and that they may want to explore the world more than you did.
• You may feel like you know exactly how the world should work, but you should let your children express themselves and share their perspectives with you.

Being Understanding

Accept your childrens mistakes. If you want to be an understanding father, then you have to accept that, like you, your children arent perfect, and that theyre bound to make mistakes. Life is full of mistakes that help your children learn, and you should accept that many lessons are necessary -- whether your son gets into a minor car accident, fails a test because he didnt study, or dates the wrong woman when he should know better.

• If you dont let your children fail once in a while, then they wont learn anything. Though you may want to shelter and protect them, letting them make their own mistakes will help them make more-informed decisions.
• You should still discipline your children appropriately when they make a mistake, but you should also talk about what they did wrong and let them see the error of their ways instead of just yelling at them.

Understand if your children are struggling. If you want to be a good father, then you have to be aware of when your children are having a particularly hard time and be attentive to your needs. Maybe your little boy is struggling because you moved to a new town and he doesnt have any friends, or maybe your daughter is going through her first break-up and is emotionally wiped.

• Though you cant completely excuse your childrens distant or emotional behavior, you should be aware of whats going through their heads so you can be more understanding and talk to them when theyre struggling.
• Just saying, "I know youre having a hard time. Want to talk about it?" will help your children see how much you care.
• Try putting yourself in your childs shoes. If youre frustrated, understanding where your child is coming from will help you understanding his behavior.

Dont place unreasonable expectations on your children. A childs life can be filled with pressures, from siblings to kids at school to teachers to coaches. Help your child understand their desires and assess their capabilities and limitations. Help them set achievable goals. Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped to have achieved.

Realize that a fathers job is never done. Do not assume that once your children turn 21, or they have a college degree, that your work raising them is done. Although it is important to encourage your children to become financially and emotionally independent, it is also important to let them know that you care and are always there for them and that they are valued.

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